


life's only constant

by Dasharoodledoo



Category: Warrior Cats - Fandom, Warriors, Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: >:3, Hope you enjoy, Uhh angst, but I enjoyed writing it, like one mild language part, sooo ye, this is much too short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22674130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dasharoodledoo/pseuds/Dasharoodledoo
Summary: As night falls over ThunderClan camp, Alderheart realizes Jayfeather isn't home from picking herbs.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 64





	life's only constant

Dusk light bathes the camp with orange, tinting the leaves above them, washing ThunderClan warriors’ pelts with the warmth. As the sun sets over the forest, cats are sharing tongues in camp. Bramblestar and Squirrelflight sit on the Highledge, enjoying the last bit of the sun’s heat before it was night. Hollytuft, Ambersky, and Sparkpelt are chatting around mouthfuls of prey, as Fernsong, Sorrelstripe, Blossomfall, and Ivypool sit near the apprentice’s den while Fernsong, Ivypool, and Blossomfall’s kits, now apprentices, leave their prey at the fresh-kill pile, proud of their catches.

Cinderheart sits with Brackenfur, and she grooms her father’s fur. His eyes are half-closed as his grandkit, Flywhisker, sits beside him, seeming to ramble about her day, her eyes bright. Near them are Daisy, Cloudtail, and Brightheart, all sharing tongues with their kits, besides Whitewing, who’s sharing a vole with Birchfall. Lilyheart is splayed out in the sun with Leafshade and Honeyfur beside her, Stormcloud and Mousewhisker are sharing news, and Twigbranch is grooming herself beside Finleap.

The Clan becomes less and less alive as cats begin to retire to their dens. Elders are leaving to their den as well, and the kits are being shooed off into the nursery, for it is past their nesttime. Daisy lets out an exasperated sigh as Flamekit squeals, excitement sparkling in his eyes, pouncing at the queen’s fluffy tail. Sorrelstripe gets to her paws and says a quick “see you” to her sister and her mates and kits before joining Daisy. She rounds up her own kittens, Myrtlekit and Baykit, who are just as restless as Flamekit and Finchkit. Sparkpelt joins them as well, stretching until she shakes.

By now, almost every cat is in their den.

And Alderheart stands outside the medicine den, waiting. His fur prickles with anxiety.  _ Where is he? _ he thinks, his heart pounding in his chest. Jayfeather had left around sunhigh, saying he needed to gather marigold, but he was nowhere to be seen now. Alderheart watches the sun set, disappearing behind the stone hollow, leaving the camp in shadows. Stars began to shine in the milky orange, now turning black, sky.

Alderheart’s ears perk as Lionblaze pads by. “Lion.” He bounds over to his cousin, eyes wide. “Have you seen Jayfeather since he left?”

Lionblaze looks surprised, his eyes rounding. “No, I thought he was just busy in your den.”

Alderheart shakes his head. “I’ll go look for him.” He gets to his paws and leaves camp, saying a final farewell to Lionblaze. What could his former mentor be doing? Did he get lost? Alderheart laughs the thought away. Jayfeather knows this forest better than any ThunderClan warrior.

Then his anxieties double. Could Jayfeather have gotten caught up with rogues? The Sisters were gone, and Squirrelflight had proved that they were harmless, but maybe some had returned, wanting revenge after the battle. He quickens his pace at the thought, worry for his cousin making him sick.

He catches the scent of Jayfeather, opening his jaws to drink it in. It gets stronger as he nears the lake. So Jayfeather’s still on ThunderClan territory. Alderheart let out a sigh of relief. He knows that Jayfeather could take care of himself, but it doesn’t stop him from worrying. He passes the Ancient Oak, and the sparkling body of water comes into view. It was tinted orange.

Alderheart stops when he glimpses gray tabby fur.  _ Jayfeather. _ He’s about to rush forward and tell his former mentor how worried about him he was, but he stops.

Jayfeather’s slumped. Lake water washes his paws, but he doesn’t move. He stares down at the bank, his eyes dull. Alderheart pads over to him as quiet as he can, though the pebbly shore crunches underpaw. He doesn’t say anything as he sits beside his cousin, looking down at the water as well.

It’s silent. There are no birds chirping, not in Leafbare. The only sound is the water washing over the shore, before crashing back into itself, a soft ripple in the quiet. Alderheart speaks first. “It’s going to be a cold night,” he meows. The cold barely touches in through his thick pelt, but it could easily pierce through Jayfeather’s own thin fur. “It’s quite beautiful here at night,” Alderheart continues when Jayfeather doesn’t answer. “I don’t come to the lake very often at this time.”

Still, Jayfeather stays quiet, and Alderheart stops talking. Alderheart takes a deep breath through his nose. Frost scent bathes his scent glands. It’s going to snow tonight. The first snow of Leafbare, it seems. Alderheart hopes it doesn’t start before him and Jayfeather return to camp.

“What are you doing here?” Jayfeather asks.

Aldeheart blinks in surprise. “I was looking for you,” he replies in a matter-of-fact tone. “What are  _ you  _ doing here?”

Jayfeather goes silent once more, and Alderheart swears he sees pain flash in his pale blue eyes. “Leafpool loved it here,” he begins, his voice crackling. Alderheart lowers his head at the name of the deceased medicine cat. She had been his aunt, and he could tell she loved him so much. Alderheart knew she loved Squirrelflight, and it seemed she could see Squirrelflight in both Alderheart and Sparkpelt. “By the lake. I never understood why. It seemed she’d make excuses to come here. I never saw the appeal.” he raised his head. “I never liked wet. But she did.”

“Is that why you’re here?” His heart thumped in his chest, aching for Jayfeather. He wasn’t the same, since Leafpool died. His pelt was ragged and his eyes were dull and he didn’t get any sleep.

Jayfeather takes a breath, closing his eyes. “I guess I just thought . . . maybe if I came here and fell asleep. I’d wake up and she’d be here again. It’s mouse-brained, I know . . .” He shuddered, anger suddenly sharpening his gaze. His nose wrinkled, as if disgusted. “It seems all StarClan knows how to do is punish us. Lionblaze, Dovewing, and I, we  _ helped _ the Clans with our powers. It was torture, but we did it for the good of the Clans. And what do we get in return? Hollyleaf dies, and our powers are ripped away from us, leaving us helpless. I’m more blind than I was before, Dovewing is practically deaf, and Lionblaze can barely fight anymore. Now, after I think, maybe things are getting better, maybe we can live a normal life, they just have to prove me wrong. They have to rip Leafpool away from me. Before I could . . . before I could . . .” He sobs.

Alderheart’s ears flatten and he presses into Jayfeather. He lets his warm pelt mingle with Jayfeather’s own, pressing his nose to his head. Jayfeather leans against him, putting his weight into his cousin. His face his screwed up, eyes squeezed shut and brimming with tears, nose wrinkled, his teeth bared. “Before you could what?” Alderheart asks, wrapping his tail around Jayfeather.

“Before I could tell her-” He’s cut off by another sob. “Before I could tell her that I don’t hate her.”

Alderheart’s heart cracks a bit. “She knows that.”

“But she doesn’t!” Jayfeather cries. “I never told her! Hollyleaf forgave her, and Lionblaze did too, but I kept everything inside. I let her have her position as medicine cat back, and that was the end of it.”

“But she knows you love her, Jay,” Alderheart told him. “I know she does.”

“But you can’t know for sure,” Jayfeather sighs, shaking his head. “And I can’t either. I haven’t seen her at the Moonpool once since she passed away, you know? I don’t understand. Why did she have to leave so soon?”

“It was her time-”

“No!” Jayfeather snaps at him. “Don’t give me that shit!” Alderheart flinches, bushing out his pelt. “Leafpool didn’t deserve this! And neither did Hollyleaf! They were too young!” He pulls his head away from Alderheart’s chest, lifting his head so he was staring at the stars. “What benefit came from killing Hollyleaf and Leafpool? What did they do to deserve this! Why am I still here, then? Why am I still alive, while two cats who deserve it more than are dead?”

Jayfeather cried out, as if a fox struck him. “I just want my mother back!” he choked out. “I just want Hollyleaf! I just want to go back, to when Squirrelflight was lying to us, maybe then we’d be happy! Maybe then- maybe then Hollyleaf would be alive.”

Alderheart’s heart is racing. He doesn’t know what to say. Would Jayfeather really take his life if that meant Hollyleaf and Leafpool were still here? “You wish Squirrelflight was still lying to you?” he meows, not really meaning to say it out loud

Jayfeather is shivering at this point, and Alderheart didn’t know if he was shaking from rage, sadness, or from the cold. He sniffled. “I never _hated_ Squirrelflight and Leafpool for not telling me,” he sits heavily on his haunches, “about who my real parents are. I was just so angry and confused and I was so, so sad. Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and I were so proud of our parents. I mean, we believed our father was _Brambleflower,_ _deputy_ of ThunderClan. Who wouldn’t be proud? But then . . . There was the fire. I’d never been so scared. I’d never been so confused. It was as if the smoke was clogging every sense in my body. All I knew was that Squirrelflight would be there to keep me safe. My mother.” Tears spilled over, rolling down his nose and splashing into the lake. “But I was _wrong_. We were all **_wrong._** She wasn’t our mother. She was lying to us. I only see now why she did it, and I know that she is my mother, no less than Leafpool is. But I was so blinded by anger. Their lies made everything fall apart. Everyone _hated_ us. Brambleflower hated us. Crowfeather hated us. I even sometimes wonder if Firestar hated us.” A shaky sigh passes his lips. “I don’t hate them. I never did. And I didn’t get to tell Leafpool that.”

Alderheart raised his tail and laid it on Jayfeather’s shoulders. He just wanted to pull Jayfeather close, embrace him, tell him everything was going to be okay, and that Leafpool loved him and knows he loves her too. But he doesn’t know if he can. He doesn’t know if Jayfeather will ever believe it. “Let’s go back to camp,” Alderheart whispered.

Jayfeather shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Try,” Alderheart said, his voice smooth, calming. Jayfeather got to his paws, still shaking. Alderheart let him put all his weight into him once more. They head toward camp, and slowly, Jayfeather seems to calm down, able to walk by himself but never leaving Alderheart’s side.

Snow begins to fall.


End file.
